Swimming Up-Stream

Sometimes I feel as if I am swimming upstream, and I am probably not alone in feeling this way. If only we could peek around the corner to see where life is leading..... Sometimes I wish that I could do this, but this is not God's design, and God's wisdom surpasses understanding in this world.

I try to work hard to prepare myself for the future, but as I do so, I sometimes wonder if all of my talents and abilities are being used. In the last year I have graduated with an accounting degree, have finished half of my MBA coursework, and have studied for and taken 3 of the 4 sections of the CPA exam. I take the last section in a month. Fortunately, God has blessed me with the opportunity to work full time at the university while I take MBA courses and study for the CPA. In many ways my current job has been an incredible experience, but I am often left wondering.... Is there something more?

Is there something more that God has in mind for me? Is there a place or a way where I can truly find fulfillment in what I am doing? When I get to the other side of this great transition in life, will I be able to make it?

In all of this questioning, and in the incredible busyness of the past year, God has placed on my heart one verse. Luke 16:10 says, "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much."

I can not say that I have been faithful in all the small things, but I have hope that as I strive to be faithful in the small things that God will give me strength and open new opportunities in the future. As much as I am ready to see around the corner, God has given me this time to be faithful in the small things, and to learn. I struggle with both confidence and humility, and God is using this situation so that I can learn that he will be with me, but also to learn that I absolutely need him to be beside me.

Maybe if we can learn to be faithful in the small things we will all find greater fulfillment. Maybe if we can learn to be faithful in the small things we will all see more closely the heart of our savior. Maybe if we can learn to be faithful in the small things we will lose the nagging need to see around the corner, and maybe in the process...we will learn just how big a blessing the present is.

The Struggle

To the masses that read this post...and to myself. I haven't written in a long time because of many reasons, but it is now time for some additional reflection. I have seen God's blessings in my life...and I have witnessed the answer to prayer. Yet even though I have seen miracles, I struggle to stay faithful to his way. Often when we see in the Bible that disciples witnessed miracles, and still lacked faith, we criticize them. I am no different than those disciples. I have seen His glory, yet have allowed the world to influence me...and to neutralize me. May God defeat Satan in my life.

God, see through the muck and the mire and see my soul. Search me and find the love that I have for you, and forgive me of my sin. Create in me something that is new, and teach me to be more like you. I am searching to provide for myself...but you are the great provider. Forgive me of my ways, and light in me a new fire...one that is different than any fire I have had before. Breathe new life into this body, and save it from the evil that fills this world.

This world is a big place full of people that do not know you, and I have selfishly thought only of my struggles and troubles. Change me, Lord, so that I might touch the world around me. Fill me with the confidence that I so desperately lack.

May I begin to see this world as you see it. May my life become relevant because of the work you will do in me.